A bit of bad luck

"Buzzing undies make shopper faint"
"A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made 

her faint with pleasure.The kinky 33-year-old housewife was wearing 

a pair of battery-operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop, while 

she did her shopping, according to the British tabloid The Sun. 

But she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that 

she lost consciousness. She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket 

in Swansea, Wales.When paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation

leather knickers still buzzing. They took them off before an ambulance took

her to hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered 

no long-lasting ill-effects. And as she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her 

back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag.A spokesman for the Asda supermarket 

chain told The Sun: "We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already.""

"Teatime love bite"
"A woman almost bit off her husband's willy as he cooked pancakes for tea - 

while she gave him oral sex.In the heat of passion he lost is grip on the pan and

spilt boiling oil down her naked back. She clenched her teeth on his willy and in

agony he bashed her on the head with the pan. Both only admitted how they 

received their injuries after "intense questioning" by hospital docs in Carioca, Romania.
The man needed treatment to his willy while the wife had burns, two black eyes

 and a broken cheek bone."

buzz          [ bʌz] brzęczeć

faint with   [ feɪnt wɪθ ] zemdleć z          

bullet         [`bulɪt] kula

paramedic  [pærə`medɪk] ratownik medyczny, sanitariusz

knickers/ panties/ undies [`nɪkəz / pæntɪz/ ʌndɪz] majtki

willy           [wɪlɪ] siusiak, ptaszek

grip            [grɪp] uścisk

pan            [pæn] patelnia

clench        [ klentʃ ] zaciskać, ściskać

bash           [ bæʃ] uderzać, walić

burn           [bə:n] oparzenie

black eyes  [blæk aɪz ] podbite oczy