środa, 9 maja 2012

How many real men ..?

Pytania z cyklu „ Ile potrzeba :gwiazd filmowych, turystów, menadzerów do zmiany żarówki ?”

How many film stars does it take to change a light-bulb?
One, but he only takes one step up the ladder, and then his stunt double takes over.

How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number to dial one of their subordinates to come and change it.

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
"We just report the facts, we don't change them."

How many politicians does it take to change a light-bulb?
'The Government is well aware of the situation and we are setting up a committee to look into the feasibility of changing it.'

How many members of the government does it take to change a light bulb.
Members of the government never change light bulbs, they prefer to keep the public  in the dark.

How many fashion designers does it take to change a light bulb?
None - they just mount a huge advertising campaign proclaiming that this year "dark" is in.

How many politically correct people does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "Why should we impose our values on the light bulb? If it wishes to be a light bulb of no light, we should respect its uniqueness and individuality."

How many engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.

How many real men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.

How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).

How many drunk Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
100. One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to drink until the room starts to spin.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

How many PUNK ROCKERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to kick the chair out from under him.

light bulb            [ laɪt bʎlb]  żarówka
ladder                [`lædə ]  drabina
stunt                   [ stʌnt ]    kaskader  
take over            [ teɪəʊ.və ] przejąć
hold                    [ həuld ]   trzymać
direction             [ dɪ`rekʃən ] kierunek
subordinate         [ sə`bo:dɪnɪt ]  podwładny
aware of              [ ə`weə  of ]  świadomy
feasibility             [ `fi:zəbɪlɪtɪ ]  wykonalność
mount                   [ maunt ]  montować
to be in                [ bi ɪn ]   być w modzie
impose                  [ ɪm`pəuz ]   narzucać
uniqueness           [ ju:`ni:knes ]   niepowtarzalność
engineering          [ endʒɪ'nɪrɪŋ ]  inzynieria
stock broker         [ stok  brəukə ]  makler giełdowy
drop                     [ drop ]  upuścić
crash                     [ kræʃ ]    roztrzaskać
burn out                [  bə:n   aʊt  ] wypalić się
spin                       [ spɪn ]  wirować
spoiled                  [ spoɪl ]  rozpuszczony, zepsuty
kick out                  [ kɪk aʊt ]  wykopać

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