Diary of a Blonde

Jan: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight!

Feb: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. HELLLOOOO!!! 

Bottles won’t fit in typewriter!!

March: Got real excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in six months… Box said 2 – 4 years.

April: Trapped on escalator for hours…. power went out!!

May: Tried to make kool aid. Wrong instructions… 8 cups of water will not fit in 

those tiny packages!!

June: Tried to water ski… couldn’t find a lake with a slope!!

July: Lost breast stroke swimming contest… found out other competitors cheated,

 they used their arms!!

August: Got locked out of my car during a rainstorm… Car interior is swamped because soft
top was down!!

Sept: The capital of California is ‘C’ …. Isn’t it???

Oct: Hate smarties… They are so hard to peel.

Nov: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days… instructions said one hour per pound.

I weigh 108 pounds.

Dec: Couldn’t call ’911′… DUH!!! There is no ’11′button on the stupid phone!!

What a year !!