Bruce Almighty quotes

Parting your soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs and still finds time to take her kid to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. But what they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

First off, let me just add another congratulations to Evan Backstabber - pardon me, Bastard. Baxter, rather. It is good to see what someone with real talent can do when great opportunities are given to them instead of me. Anyway, I'm here with Katherine Hepburn's mom. Tell me, why did you toss the "blue heart of the ocean" jewel over the railing of Titanic? Did you feel bad at all letting Leo DiCaprio drown, while you were safe floating on the big door? Could you have taken turns, or were you just too afraid to freeze your big fat ass off?

-Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. 

How's that?

-Great... If you wanna be Miss America.

-Bruce, you have a divine spark. You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world. I know, I created you.

-Quit bragging.

God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.

Smite me, oh mighty Smiter!

-Oh, there we go. Sorry about that. In other news the Prime Minister of Sweden visited Washington today and my tiny little nipples went to France.

-What'd he just say? Check the prompter.

-The prompter's fine.

-You want me and the homies to apologize right?  Okay Cool, man,

the day a monkey comes out of my butt is the day you'll get your sorry.

-What a coincidence, because that's TODAY.

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.

toss over      [tos] odrzucić

tailing           [reɪɪŋl]  poręcz, barierka

float             [fləut] unosic  się, płynąć

freeze off      ['friz ɔf] odmrozić

divine spark [dɪ'vaɪn spɑ:k] iskra boża

brag           [bræg] przechwalać się

feler            ['fi:lə(r)] czułek

squirm        [skwə:m] skręcać się

smite          [smɑɪt] uderzać, walić

nip ple        [`nɪpl] sutek

homie         [həumɪ ]   kumpel,ziomek

crumble       ['krʌmbl] kruszyć się